“Why is it always colder at night?”
Er…nothing to do with that big, hot yellow thing in the sky that disappears at night?

Reading the Daily Mail this morning there was a snippet about Eva Longoria opening Harrods for the sales.
After a radio interview she was chatting to the reporter about how she was carrying on to Paris for New Year and she was going on the Channel Tunnel. She then asked if you could see the water when on the train.

Listening to Radio One this was on:
A vet gave a woman some cream for her cat as it was ill and needed some antibiotics. As he was out of his usual labelled stock he gave her one that was also used for cows as it's cheaper, it therefore has instructions for use on cows written on the tube.
After a week of using the cream she brought the cat back and the vet said the cat is fine and you can stop using the cream now.
“Great” she said “I can have a good cup of tea again”.
“What do mean?” asked the vet.
“Well I like milk in my tea and on the tube for the cream it says after use throw out all milk for the next 48 hours.”

Talking with my girlfriend about the north pole I mentioned that how there was the magnetic north pole and a geographical north pole and that the magnetic north pole was where the magnetic fields converged and you could get there by following your compass. She was suprised as she though compasses worked “using the wind or something”.

Sat at a BBQ and the wind was blowing smoke into a friends face. As this was quite annoying she asked someone to turn the BBQ round so the smoke would blow in a different direction - I’m sure the wind had nothing to do with it.