1. January 7th, 2010

    There’s another type of woman?

    “Claire Taylor) is the first female woman to be one of Wisden’s Cricketers of the Year.”
    From the Daily Telegraph website (via BBC Sports Quotes of the week)


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  2. January 7th, 2010

    The Invincible Man

    Sky sports Soccer Saturday exchange
    Jeff Stelling: “And Matt, Joe Hart’s invincible today”
    Matthew Le Tissier: “No he's not, Jeff – I can see him from here!”

    (via BBC Sports Quotes of the week)


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  3. January 6th, 2010

    Have you seen the condemned?

    Good old celebrity big brother –
    Dane Bowers to Vinnie Jones: “Have you seen a film called The Condemned?”
    Vinnie Jones: “I was in it.”


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  4. December 10th, 2009

    Fish and Chips

    Woman walks into the chip shop and asks for fish and chips.
    Assistant : “Cod or Haddock?”
    Woman : “Which one’s fishier?”


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  5. May 10th, 2007

    And how do you propose I do that?

    On an email from Radio One
    Please check your spam or junk mail folders if you don’t receive this email.


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  6. April 16th, 2007

    24 Hour Shopping

    “I wonder if that 24 hour Asda is open?”
    “Wow” I said


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  7. April 12th, 2007

    Big Cats

    My girlfriend many years ago was walking past a Jaguar car garage asked if the silver cat on the roof was a panther. A quick nod to the big letters underneath that spelt Jaguar soon set her straight.

    Then a few weeks ago at Chester Zoo we went into the Jaguar enclosure talking about this panther/jaguar confusion story. As we walked into the Jaguar house which has a big jaguar car sponsorship logo on the outside, my girlfriend turns and says “So what are we looking at in here then?”


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  8. January 26th, 2007

    Angel of where?

    A bloke was talking to his in-laws about some sculptures at Crosby beach in Liverpool.
    “They’re by Anthony Gormley the bloke who did the angel of the north”.
    “The angel of the north” said his mother in law “We’ve been passed that haven’t we?” She asked gesturing to her husband.
    “Have we? When” he replied.
    “You know” she said “when we were in that place down south”


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  9. January 5th, 2007

    A chilly night

    “Why is it always colder at night?”
    Er…nothing to do with that big, hot yellow thing in the sky that disappears at night?


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  10. January 2nd, 2007

    King Kong

    My girlfriend's parents went to watch the recent King Kong film at the cinema.
    For part of the film there are dinosaurs in it, my girlfriend's mum watching the film said “Look at all those dinosaurs, that’s a but unrealistic!”. Yes in a film about a 30 foot Gorilla it's the dinosaurs that are unrealistic.


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