“I was shocked when the FA came knocking on my door bell.” – Michael Owen
(I’m not sure if it’s Michael Owen getting confused or somebody from the FA struggling with how to use a doorbell who’s having trouble here?)

My boyfriend does a lot of impersonations, the other day after he had done one I said “Stop doing your impersonations, you sound like a different person”

It is very nosey listening to conversations on the train but it can also be very interesting, take this little conversation on a train to London shortly after Cheryl Cole had performed on X-Factor.
“I didn’t think Cheryl Cole was that good on X-Factor, a lot of the contestants are better than here.”
“I know, she’s not good enough to judge that competition, she’d never with anything like that.”

That’s Cheryl Cole a winner on the 2002 series of Popstars: The Rivals.

“What’s Willy short for… Is it Richard?”
“Erm no. It’s short for William!”

When at Phil’s house watching the cricket I asked “what do you think the difference between facing an 80 mph ball and a 70 mph ball would be?”
I probably asked for the answer “about 10 miles per hour”

Greg’s friend – “I’m thinking of coming off the pill and using a different kind of contraception.”
Greg – “What like tampons?”

(All names have been left the same to ensure embarrassment)

A classic clip for a Friday? Well why not.

I first saw this either on Probably Bad News or Fail blog.

Manager Billy Davies following Nottingham Forest’s emphatic win at West Brom – “Friday’s game has gone and come Saturday it was all about starting with a blank sheet of football and starting to prepare for a difficult cup tie.”

(From langboyred on BBC sport quotes of the week)

Amongst a group of friends there had been a spate of people getting pulled over by the police. The latest victim was telling us about it and then asked if he was the only one.
Rohan : “Has anyone else got a speeding ticket?”
Matt : “Yep Graham’s got one”
Rohan : “What for?”
Matt : “Erm…… speeding”

Planning a cycling trip can be hard at the best of times, especially such a big one as John O’Groats to Lands End. The big decision is of course which way do you go? Do you cycle from Scotland to England as going north to south is “going down and therefore easier” or do you go the other way because then you’ll somehow “miss out the hills in Scotland”.